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Recently, I have been captivated, convicted, and dead-ended by the phrase, "you know what you know." As simple and reflexive as it sounds, it is powerfully insightful. Think about it. We make (or attempt to) make meaning out of what we know based upon what we have experienced, frequently to our own detriment. We often confirm the very bias, preference, or thought we want to be true. And, if you are anything like me, you do it all the time without realizing it. And that is where it is helpful to have a mirror (a real friend) that does not distort, filter, and recharacterize what is in plain sight. In tandem, you need to be self-aware and humble enough to recognize, apologize, capsize, and NOT antagonize others that struggle here. I thank God for my friends that can and do in fact excel in this area.
I love asking questions, as many of my close friends naturally do. Inquisition is a gift- particularly in the right timing. There is a great value in thinking through the silence of a provocative question. I am not a proponent of asking questions just for the sake of asking questions, but I love the thrill of a good question among friends as naturally prompted by the circumstance.
Confession time. Frequently, as the curious and observant person I am, I read license plates and license plate holders as I drive, visualize who I expect to see driving, and then try to confirm. It's a game I play. The other day I was driving and I read a license plate holder that read, "naval aviator." Immediately, I had an idea of what I thought the driver would look like. If the driver I saw was in fact the naval aviator, what I had mentally pictured was very wrong. How many times has that happened to you? Have you thought through why you think what you think or thought? When you encounter dissonance in conversation, do you stop and replay what happened? Why? Do you try to understand from the other person's point of view? So many times we stop short based on what we think we know. We write our own narratives.
I think I know so much, yet I really do know so little. Similarly with friends, how many times do you write your own self-confirming/fulfilling narrative? Do you ask questions? When you do, how many times do you ask why you are even asking the question? Do you need to know? How might this make the other person feel? The last question stops nosiness and prying in its tracks. When you get the answer(s), what will you do with it/them? Will you remember? Do you really care that much? Does it reveal you should care more? Will you pray? Will you follow-up?
Jesus asked 307 questions. He was asked 183. He answered three (3). You know what you know; but, do you really know what you think you know?
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