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I love detective shows and novels. Outside of the often-intriguing detective last names (cue Rizzoli & Isles, Cold Case, and many of my favorites from John Grisham), they draw you in to be the investigator. You become part of the story, if only a silent partner in the background trying to put everything together. Master storytellers weave seemingly unconnected details and drop clues in a captivating plot. And the good ones keep you on the edge of your seat, thinking you know more than you actually do in true dramatic irony fashion.
But, what if we actually know more about a storyline closer to home? The older I get, the more convinced our bodies are actually the built-in, live screenplays we have been tuning out. Heck, they are our live choose-your-own adventures unfolding right before us.
I am pretty observant; but, recently, I have been challenging myself to write out specific observations about interactions I have had with others- what I am noticing about my body posture before and after, voice inflections and language, where do my feet point, how do I hold my weight. You can lie with your words and sometimes with your actions, but it takes a very-controlled and skilled individual to lie with their body language. I try sometimes; and it just won't work (Ha).
That hug felt really good. This person appears really interested in what I am saying by their eye contact and repeats- and it feels affirming. Why am I so hype/hot about this email? Why am I repeating and replaying a conversation that happened weeks ago? Why am I coming through in my outside voice via the slack thread? When so and so joins the call, why do I tense up? Is this person really whining or am I a complainer? Why am I paying so much attention to this individual? Hello- your body is working and responding! And it is trying to tell you something- about your present, and probably about your past.
I have been in a few men's groups and some of the better ones I have been part of have had a structured set of questions we'd ask ourselves every week about what happened. What I loved- it forced us to reflect and to think through about what our bodies and thoughts are telling us.
Last week, what happened in the Real Life of _______ (Insert Your Name)? Why am I more focused on so and so's life than my own? What if tuning into others lives was an expression of us rejecting our bodies? Join the #QuedUpConversation.
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